“I don’t think I want to fall in love anymore” or “My fear of falling”

Cleaning out my e-mail, I happened across an old archive folder that contained e-mails to my ex-boyfriend and a few of his friends. I can’t believe that I could be that much in love. I remember talking to him on an IM chat application and the many ridiculous and spontaneous adventures we had. I had been so in love back then. Now, I am much too cynical. I wasn’t like this after we broke up. I know several factors that lead to my cynicism on which I refuse to elaborate. I just hope that someday, my fear of falling in love irrevocably will be diminished. I was happy back then. Not that I’m not happy now but, you get the idea. I do wish to fall in love again, I am just very much afraid of getting hurt again and becoming even more of a cynic than I am now.

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