Home

My head lying on your chest, listening to your beating heart.
Sun setting over the horizon, the waves gently greeting the shore.
This hammock swings lightly as the wind kisses our skin.

The palm trees are swaying with the breeze.
The birds are flapping their wings as they coo.
Nature is our serenade as the full moon rises.
The silver glow it emanates bathes this island.

I listen as you read pages of my story.
Collated poetry, journal entries, jotted notes…
These are my confessions of the life I’ve had.
The stories I could not tell without my voice breaking.

Your hands which hold me tightens and loosens as you read different pages.
Your voice sometimes shake, sometimes break…
These are stories I can never tell anyone else.
These are stories that echo my mistakes and regrets.

Your lips ghost over the top of my head,
You call my name so softly.
The book is finished and you look so torn.
I prepare myself for the heartbreak, for the goodbye…

You kiss my forehead as tears slide down my face.
My heart races as I resign myself to fate.
Another goodbye, this time a farewell…
My love for you will never fail.

Your smile is broken but your eyes are hopeful.
There was always something holding me back from our love.
Now you know, and you are happy…
You are grateful that I have shared my secrets.

Chains are broken, burdens are lifted.
The past are the reasons we are who we are.
Nothing can be undone but we can start anew.
We are one, we are love, we are home.

In this little piece of paradise, our story begins again.
No more secrets. No more shame.
Only love, strong and pure.
We are home.

Moving out, moving on

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I’m coming back home by the end of the month, so I’ve been packing my things here at the apartment. While digging through all the accumulated receipts, clothes, shoes, bags, important documents, gifts, and everything else… I found this little notebook. This was a birthday/Christmas gift from a close friend of mine, in it were messages and greetings from our colleagues.

Thumbing through the little notebook, I saw this message… Or rather, song lyrics. I remember reading it before and me overanalyzing the message. You see, this was written by someone I… Adored? Was romantically interested in? Was having a fling with? Whatever way you want to call it. We weren’t really dating but there was a hidden… Something… between us. And the song, for me, spoke volumes at that particular moment in time. It may have actually been written as a joke though. He was someone who had a weird sense of humor, so that may just have been a joke from him.

Anyway, years have passed since then and we’re still friends. It just hit me… how hopelessly romantic I was back then. How stupidly gullible I was… How I was idiotically and senselessly dreaming of something that was never gonna happen. I knew it, he knew it, we both knew that there would really be nothing productive between us.

That was that. It’s all in the past now, but somehow… It still gives me good memories and feelings of guilt.